The Last Dance

Ifetayo Kitwala Arcadia in Rome, Italy

Date

May 1, 2019
Currently Studying at: Arcadia in Rome, Italy
Homeschool: Temple University

As my 16-week long excursion ends, I must say, I am so blessed to have learned so much about a different world I had no idea existed. Mind if I take down a trip down memory lane with you?

When I first arrived in Rome, I didn’t know what to expect. I was ready for whatever came my way, positive or negative. Negative came first. As you may have known from my first blog entry, I had fallen sick within the first forty-eight hours of touching down. I was worried that this would set the precedent for the rest of my time here in Rome.

Boy, was I wrong– I saw the world. Well, it felt like the world. Every weekend I was in a different area of Europe–Paris, London, Berlin. Places I thought I’d never see, and food I thought I’d never taste. I have been to the most northern and southern parts of Italy, and in my last week, I will continue to explore the outskirts of Rome. I once ate a 63 kg steak as big as my head, a heart-shaped pizza while drinking the most thirst-quenching lemonade. I have walked where old Romans did and touched the walls of the underground sanctuaries of the 14th centuries that still stood. I have had all of these amazing experiences and beautiful memories, so why can’t I sleep at night?

These last few days I have been tossing and turning. I have hit that point in the semester when I am so close to being home, that I just want to go. There are finals and goodbye coming up, and I am exhausted. I have no more trips, and for some reason, I am now uncomfortable about the silence in my apartment due to the lack of movement. There are no more 6 am flights, running to catch the train, or having exact change to buy a new monthly metro pass. It is just the winding down and reflection that people most people dread. When you get into a routine, when you have to uproot yourself, even if it is to go back to your home, you get fussy. I know I do. It is like when you are finally comfortable and being productive in your local coffee shop, but now your computer is about to die, and guess what? You are not by an outlet.

My time here in Rome has taught me a few things. First, I need to hold myself to the same expectation that I hold others to. For me, it was in terms of cultural awareness and openness. When I first got to this country, I was expecting it to be a scene out of the 1960s, where I didn’t get served in stores, laughed at or even assaulted because of the color of my skin. Because I had this ugly view of who I thought Italians were, I cut off all opportunities to explore and connect to those around me. It left me bitter and wanting to say "I told you so”, which after four months never came.

Secondly, I was forced to be okay with being alone. There are times where I was extremely homesick. I didn’t have anyone to talk to because my roommates were on trips, and I was just stuck with my thoughts. I decided to fill my time with long walks with smooth music, talks and prayers to God, and writing in a journal. It allowed me to be independent and not have to rely on someone to help me work through my daily escapades.

Finally, I had to constantly check my privilege. It seems like such a harsh word, especially being a person of color, but we all have it. When I served those in the community through my weekly food banks and speaking to refugees from Turkey in Berlin, I had to realize that I have a home to go back to. A gentleman said to me one day, “One only goes on this trip, a trip that you might die if your home country is in such turmoil that it is like a war.” In a few days, I can go back to the United States where my hot water doesn’t run out, where I have unlimited access to internet sites and communication means to my family around the country.

In all, my downtime is now being spent quietly, preparing for my return home. I have had a truly wonderful experience that has allowed me to grow and build as a person. Of course, there are things that I wish I could have done better, such as manage money, ask more questions, and take the time to sit and explore Rome a little more. I have 9 days left, let’s see how much of that I can do.

Thank you Arcadia University, Dana DiCarlo and my usual barista at Bar Foshi for this unforgettable experience.