Nerves

Sydney Smith University of Aberdeen, Scotland

Date

January 15, 2018

Two weeks ago, I left the sanctuary of my home on New Year’s Day to start my latest grand adventure of studying abroad for a semester in Aberdeen, Scotland. I left Texas, bright and early on a very cold Monday morning. My bags were packed to their fullest capacities. I had double and triple checked to make sure that I had all my important documents. Everything seemed like it was in order, except my nerves.

Leaving the Lone Star State has become easier due to me attending Arcadia University in Pennsylvania for over a year now. Living approximately 1,600 miles away from my hometown, my family, and most importantly my dog (sorry Mom), I have learned to survive on my own, to a certain extent.

Leading up to the moment when my mom dropped me off at the airport, I had not fully processed that I was actually about to leave the country to study abroad for a whole semester. It did not really hit me until I had gone through security and was waiting on my first flight. Suddenly, I became extremely nervous.

There was something different about me leaving this time, something that held a greater weight than my past travels. I did not know if it was due to this being my first excursion outside of the country alone? Was it pre-departure homesickness? Or was it because I was scared of not meeting people, or not liking it once I got there? My nervousness was over exaggerated, but at that time, it was what consumed me.

Alas, my flight from Dallas to Newark went well. Upon arriving in Newark my nerves had started to calm a wee bit, especially when I realized I was not actually going through this experience alone. Sitting at the gate, I was surrounded by other university students from various institutions in the United States, who were flying to Edinburgh to begin their own study abroad adventures. I was able to see that we were all going through similar situations of grappling with the excitement and anxiety of embarking on a semester abroad in a foreign country, and it helped soothe my nerves, somewhat.

The time finally came when we loaded up the plane and I said goodbye to the US for the next few months. It was exhilarating, and it did not feel real. It felt like I was stepping out of my own life and doing something that I had never realistically dreamed possible for myself, yet there I was.

We landed early the next morning in Edinburgh before the sun had risen. At the Edinburgh airport, I met up with two other girls who were also from Arcadia, and together, we symbolically and literally made our first steps in Scotland.

By this point most of my nerves had dissipated, but there was still an inkling of them left behind. As we sat on the bus headed for the city center, the sun began to rise. Slowly it filled the morning sky with hues of pink and orange light, washing the hills outside of Edinburgh with such radiance that I felt at peace.

As the bus piddled its way through Edinburgh, everywhere I looked I was amazed. From the monuments, to Edinburgh Castle on the hill at the top of the Royal Mile, to the Christmas village on the corner of Waverly and Prince’s Street, everywhere I looked I was in awe. Now I was filled with excitement and curiosity. I wanted to explore and do everything. I wanted to engage with the people around me and learn everything I possibly could. I was no longer scared or nervous. All the doubts that I previously had, seemed unjustifiable.

At long last, my journey had begun!