An Introvert’s Guide to Your First Week Abroad

Hayley Graffunder University of Edinburgh, Scotland

Date

January 14, 2017
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The morning I left for Edinburgh, I woke up trying to savor my last few moments of total peace and quiet in my bed at home. I expected that air travel, orientation, and moving into my new flat were going to be exhausting for this introvert (Spoiler alert: They were). Here’s what I did to help keep myself sane and happy during my first week abroad.

1. You don’t have to talk to anyone on the plane.

This seems obvious. You don’t have to talk to anyone ever if you don’t want to. But most of us get trapped into conversations because we don’t want to be rude, or because there seems to be no escape in sight, which is exactly what happened to me in the airport while I waited to board. The person next to me decided to start a friendly conversation about London, our plane’s destination, by asking what I was going there to do. I actually enjoyed talking about studying abroad with him at first because it was helping me forget about my flight anxiety, especially since he was sharing his own insight about University in the U.K.

Right after he mentioned that he goes to school in the U.K., it quickly became clear that the only thing we were going to talk about was how he goes to Oxford, how difficult Oxford is to get into, how clearly amazing he must be if he got into Oxford. I get it. Oxford is hard. But do I really want to listen to your blatant bragging for 45 minutes? Absolutely not. Besides, if you go to Oxford you should be smart enough to figure out how to humble brag like the rest of us. I kept looking at my boarding pass trying to find a way to jet out of that conversation when he said, “Flying used to be so fun when I was a kid because there were no screens on the planes. Everyone just had nine hours to get to know the other passengers!” That was the last straw. Never insult the beautiful entertainment system on the plane with your “well I don’t even watch TV” nonsense. In flight movies and infinite failed games of solitaire are the only things that allow me to shut out everyone else and forget the fact that I’m being launched across the ocean in a glorified tin can.

I walked onto that plane with a renewed determination to talk to absolutely no one and conserve my limited energy for small talk until it really mattered at Arcadia Orientation, and that was the best decision I could have set out with.

2. You’ll actually feel better being with people you don’t know very well than being alone.

I know, I know. This goes against every rule of being an introvert. Being alone is always better than being with strangers for days on end. Unless you’re studying abroad. Then being with people is crucial. The first few days are going to be brutally taxing. You’ll be encountering dozens of new people everyday, since everyone’s trying to make friends and settle into a group that they actually vibe with.

You might as well prepare your speech ahead of time. "Hi, I’m Hayley. University of St. Thomas. No it’s in Minnesota, not the island, I know, it’s unfortunate." It really is as tiring as freshman orientation of college, but with more jet lag. I found that talking to everyone helped assuage tons of my fears all at once, despite being so exhausting. Instead of feeling like I was in a country where I didn’t know a soul, I had people I could chat with. After trudging through personal trivia to more important matters like favorite Parks & Rec characters, these acquaintances began to feel more like friends. It just might happen that 5 days after meeting these people, you’ll be planning a trip to Madrid together.

The new challenges of studying abroad like being in a foreign country, being overwhelmed with all the places to explore, and being so far away from home are all more manageable with people by your side who understand exactly what you’re feeling.

3. You don’t have to say yes to everything.

This seems like it’s going to go directly against the advice about socializing, and it kind of does. Even though it’s important to make friends and explore the city, you’re going to be tired. You’re going to be spending every minute with a minimum of 4 people. You won’t miss out on any crucial bonding moments with your new pals if you take a step back and say “I don’t feel like going there today” and do whatever it is you’ve been itching to do without your crew in tow. Whether that’s shutting your bedroom door in your new flat and just relaxing by yourself for the first time all week, or going to the National Portrait Gallery to see the painting of Robert Burns you’ve been staring at online for months, you should take the time to prioritize your own interests.

The important thing to remember is that this is just the beginning of an entire semester — a world of opportunity lies at your feet from the moment you touch down, and it isn’t going to dissipate when you decide to kick your feet up for a night.