The Luxury of Leaving: Living, Learning, and Longing in London

Always On the Move

I am used to moving, well acquainted with the familiarity of unfamiliarity. But studying abroad is different. It's an experience of choice, of deciding to traverse the unknown. It's an adventure, known for its ups and downs, of wonder and whimsy and ‘just doing things’ and embracing the silly phrase ‘you only live once’. Studying abroad also comes with its fair share of anxiety, of wondering if you will make friends and potentially the fear of not knowing who you will become. 

There’s this graph that they show you about the trajectory of self-development while abroad, a projection of the typical experience of adjustment and acculturation. It maps the typical ups and downs, the honeymoon stage to the grief of return. Needless to say, studying abroad is a process of growth and self exploration. It will stretch you, maybe stress you, and shape you in ways you might not initially notice. 

There’s good reason to fear the unknown. Its very nature is risky, of betting and bargaining on something you can’t quite see. It’s not always comfortable, and frankly, it’s often not. I find a beauty in that though, for what boring creatures we would be if we all followed a calculated, meticulous path!

PART I. The Luxury

In elementary school I lived across the street from a cow farm, on a street that teetered between “city” (it was a small town so I am not sure it was fit to be called a “city”) and the grain and dairy farms of the Midwest. I dreamed of travelling the world, but didn’t concern myself with the logistics as children’s fantasies typically don’t. At that age, you also struggle to conceptualize yourself as a college student, much less a college student studying abroad. In many ways, I never fathomed this as a reality for me. 

As a high school student in Nebraska, I longed for big cities and a world beyond the one I knew. I did not know that my small liberal arts college in upstate New York (more like the rural Midwest than the bustling East Coast cities) — a school I moved across the country to attend — would take me across the world. 

…

My sophomore year I dreamed of studying abroad with my friends, of visiting their universities and touring their cities and in turn inviting them to mine. But the political landscape of the US brought an abrupt halt to those hopes. We’ve watched the news with our breaths held, unsure of what each broadcast would bring. In the end, I was the one to leave, as I had the US passport and they did not. There’s a pain to that—of longing to leave while also longing for loved ones. 

PART II. The Whimsy

There’s this game I used to play, Left, Right, Straight. I think we played it first during the pandemic, when we itched to be out of the house so much that we would just go for long drives. Each person in the car would take turns shouting out a direction. Left, right, or straight. There was no spoken premise of the game, it was simply an adventure. Some of us hoped to get lost, others were just grateful to be “outdoors”. I played this game again a few times in college, when upperclass friends with cars wanted to get off campus. Left, right, straight. 

I reference this game to remind myself to embrace the whimsy. I did this yesterday, decided I was going to ride the tube to a part of town I hadn’t heard of before and find a local coffee shop to study at. Last week I was walking home with a friend after a night out and we were planning on just walking straight home. But we heard some music as we were passing a road we had never been on before, and smelled some fresh food. We decided to walk towards the sound and smell to find the coolest street food shop, literally a hole in the wall joint with the most radiant vibes. We danced with strangers, queued music, and admired accents as we shared a bowl. To think we had planned to just walk past! Sometimes, doing things “for the plot” or “on a whim” can lead you to unexpected places. 

About Me

My name is Ruhama. I am from Ethiopia, though I have spent the majority of my life residing in the United States. I am a junior at Hamilton College, currently studying at the University of London’s School of Oriental and African Studies (SOAS). I am an Interdisciplinary Major, a degree I curated that combines the fields of Sociology, Africana Studies, and Government to understand the ways in which state power and legal structures shape the political, social, and cultural dimensions of migration, displacement, and belonging for international adoptees. Through studying at SOAS, I hope to become equipped with language, theories, resources, and international perspectives that build on my studies. In my free time I love to cook, write and drink coffee.