How Studying Abroad Taught Me to Let Expectations Go

Before I left for Italy, I prepared myself as if I was going on vacation; setting up a picture of what my trip would look like. But of course I am watching videos of people who went to Sorrento for a week, not an entire semester. Mistake #1. I expected to leave every single weekend, I wanted to visit 15 different countries in 15 weeks. Mistake #2. I was picturing effortless and constant travel, instant friendships, and a version of myself that had everything figured out the moment I got there. Oh how I was wrong. Now of course these were positive expectations, they only would have limited my experience.

In the end, I did get to see 11 different cities just in Italy and was able to travel to 8 different countries. On paper this sounds insane, a dream. And it was - just not in the way you think.

Expectations Turn Into Checklists 

Traveling while abroad can quickly become performative. You measure experiences instead of just living in the moment.

“Is this experience as fun as people said?”

“Am I doing this right?”

This is something I felt in the beginning. Some days I stood in places I had dreamed of being in, and felt a bit underwhelmed. I had already decided what being in these places should feel like.

Once I changed this mindset, everything changed.

Learning to Slow Down 

Italians do not rush, they are not going to reward you for it either. Some of my favorite moments were never in the big monumental cities, places I had planned much in advance. Instead, they were in the small areas: a small piazza with a funny claw machine, the 3 hour train ride to Rome just to save money, the long walks that made me appreciate everything around me.

I stopped expecting every city to WOW me immediately. That took time. Every place got to feel good but in a different way. Allowing each city to stand as it is, instead of what I wanted it to be, made the experience richer.

Living Authentically 

The Study Abroad experience is not a non-stop wonder. I have missed trains, buses, and running through London because I wanted to talk to a person for too long. There are language barriers, loneliness, and exhaustion. I would sometimes feel defeated, like I was screwing up my experience.

But all of those thing are the experience. Those mundane actions make the story that you wanted to tell your friends and family. Those moments become meaningful memories. You connect to the cities differently when you take a few extra steps. Let go of expecting constant excitement, when I did that, I was able to appreciate the reality that I was living somewhere new. Not just visiting it.

By letting go, I was able to hold space for new things I wouldn't expect. I was able to appreciate those little things instead of dreading them. I didn't expect to fall in love with every city, you don't have to. I grew more comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Seeing all these cities is not impressive because of the number, but because of what each place taught me. Some of my most memorable moments were unplanned, small, or completely ordinary.

To Future Study Abroad Students 

If I could give you any advice, it would be this:

Be curious, not expectant. Let each place reveal itself. You can have bad days, you don't need to feel guilty over them. Let each experience be surprising and real.

You don't need to maximize every single moment. The value from studying abroad isn't about how perfect it looks, but how it changes you. Often in ways you never expected.

This only happens when you stop telling yourself what the experience should be, and let it be exactly what it is.