Student Bloggers

November marks the start of my last full month in the UK before returning to the States. And though I know I will eventually miss my time in a new city and at another university, I couldn’t shake my unwavering feeling of homesickness. As someone who was fairly excited about studying abroad and being away from my home institution, I quickly realized all of the things I had overlooked and didn’t appreciate as much.

Before the fall term at UCL, I participated in the Duke-in-Oxford program. And while I submitted my summer and fall semester abroad applications simultaneously, I guess I didn’t consider how much of my year would be spent away from home, my college campus, and the U.S. I don’t think my fatigue of studying abroad had hit until the very end of my 6 weeks at New College.

This all goes to say that underneath the seemingly busy and constant stream of exciting things that happen while studying abroad, it is likely that everyone also experiences the range of emotions on the opposite end of the spectrum. I hope this account serves as a reminder that just because some things aren’t heavily discussed or highlighted doesn’t mean that such things are not happening. Living in a new city and attending a new institution likely during the latter end of your college years— even for only a semester— can evoke feelings of homesickness, regret, anxiety, and even FOMO.

I definitely felt these things and more; London’s ever-growing grey weather and winter depression also definitely didn’t help my headspace. Still, I didn’t think I would take a trip back home during the middle of the term. However, UCL’s reading week, coupled with my modules falling only on Thursdays and Fridays, created a situation where I could visit Duke for an entire week. It goes without saying that this situation was too enticing and, in a way, too necessary to pass up.

So after a little over a month since booking my ticket, as well as a trip to Ireland with other Duke friends abroad the weekend before, I found myself on a flight from London to New York and from New York to North Carolina. Though I found it amusing that I was about to go back to Durham, North Carolina before even visiting Durham in England, I did quickly realize that I was going to land in the states on the day before the Presidential Election. So while many of my peers utilized their semester abroad to separate from American politics, I— a Political Science major— thought the timing of my visit to be oddly fitting.

But, politics was not at all the driver of my visit. From RDU to Duke, I tried to keep a low profile. Luckily for me, there was a men’s basketball game— and if you know anything about the sports culture in the U.S., you may be familiar with the legacy of Duke basketball. As my friends eventually walked out of our historic Cameron Indoor Stadium after a win, I slowly surprised them because I couldn’t wait any longer.

And that’s how I spent my week— surprising friends, catching up while more than half of our graduating class is abroad, and visiting the places I thought I would never really be that excited to see. I didn’t think I would find comfort in the Durham breezes that softly blew down the autumn leaves, how the sun beamed down on Duke students during their walk to class or the gothic architecture of the place I call home. I missed the friendly chatter within our libraries, the hordes of tour groups filled with prospective and visiting students, the chapel chimes during the middle of the day, the Sarah P. Duke Gardens, and every unique aspect that made me fall in love with Duke even more.

As I write this, I am back in London— in my cozy university accommodation, in the middle of the city, and, in a way, in a better headspace than before I left. With officially less than a month left, I returned with a new perspective. Without the noise of a busy and growing city, we might not appreciate the sound of silence when we are alone; without the sun setting sooner, we might not appreciate the Christmas lights that decorate central London; without the cold, we might not appreciate the heat of the tube stations or the late night walks with the friends we made along the way.

Maybe we don’t really realize the feelings of warmth, comfort, or enjoyment of a particular experience until we find ourselves in a moment when we might need those feelings most. So if you, just like me and many others in our shoes, have been feeling any type of way— good or bad— during your time abroad, I would encourage you to lean on that. If you feel happy about the experiences you have had, live in the moment and maybe take pictures to capture that memory; we’re only undergrads once and perhaps we might only get to study abroad once. But, if you feel sad about being seemingly worlds apart from which you are familiar, I would encourage you to ground yourself in the things that brighten your day; check in on your friends and family because I’m sure they’re eager to hear about your time away.

Take care of yourself, stay safe, and don’t forget to find something new that might currently brighten your day or something new that you might later miss.