A Double Threat to a New Threat: Finding My Home(s) in New Zealand

When deciding where I wanted to study abroad, I realized that I didn’t have a definite option. I was truly open to going anywhere in the world as I thought anything would be better than being in the U.S. at the moment with the political climate that was around at the time. I was viewing this as more of a getaway; however, I wanted to travel on one condition: I want to truly be myself. I want to be able to be in a place with a thriving performing arts scene, be unapologetically queer, and not have to worry about what people think of my skin. After a quick search through several countries and universities, I landed on the University of Otago in Dunedin, New Zealand.

The performing culture in New Zealand as a whole is incredible! I wanted to fully immerse myself in what there was to offer. I got to participate in a dance showcase, go to a vogue ball, and I got to end my semester abroad with being in a musical restaurant! All of these spaces are very different from each other, but I still felt very included in each one of them. Here’s a little summary for each event and how I felt in each of these spaces:

ODA Dance Showcase: Alice In Wonderland

I found out about the dance club at Otago from one of my flatmates. They told me they have classes M-W from 7-9pm of different styles; I suddenly had to find them on Instagram. There, I found their membership, their schedules for classes, and something I wasn’t expecting: “Alice in Wonderland Cast Sign Ups”. I looked more into this and found out it's a dance show! There were auditions for lead roles the following weekend, so I signed up immediately. For the lead auditions, you had to audition in hip-hop, jazz, and contemporary. I was honestly the most worried for jazz, but, luckily, it all went well! Unfortunately, I did not receive a lead role, but I then decided to sign up for 10 dances of varying styles.

When rehearsals started, I took note that I was the only Black person in all of the association, but I did not let this stop me. I continued to work hard and go to every rehearsal and show 110% (if I was able). With time, I got to know the people around me and they all accepted me with open arms. They started to know more about my dance history and what life was like in the U.S. Eventually, I had become friends with almost everyone in the showcase and I loved to be in their community! With this show being so tiring and energetic, we were always doing our best to keep each other in good health as well.

The Grand Kiki House of Marama Ball (Wellington, NZ)

I am currently doing research on the gender and sexuality aspects of vogue and when I heard that there was a vogue ball in Wellington, I booked the flight ASAP. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity that I could not pass up. This would cross off a lot of firsts for me: going to Wellington, voguing in front of others (professionals, that is), and going to a ball! The ballroom scene is an LGBTQ+ subculture that was created in Harlem, New York out of the Harlem Renaissance. In the ballroom scene, a ball is a competition in which performers compete for money and trophies in which they are judged on makeup, costuming, and specifically in this case, voguing. Voguing is a dance style in which dancers pose to the beat — these poses are recreations of ones you would see in a Vogue magazine.

When I arrived in Wellington, the amount of diversity was wonderful to see: the queerness, the clothing styles, and, of course, the racial diversity. In preparation for the ball, there was also a panel talk and a vogue workshop that I signed up to attend. At both of these events, the queer community was more loving than I could have ever imagined. Everyone is all about supporting each other and making each other feel uplifted. One quote that I will take with me from the panel talk is “chosen family is chosen for a reason.” That family aspect is seen through all of the different houses in the Wellington ballroom scene. I truly thought that the ballroom scene would be a bit of a scary place because of the fierceness in it, but everyone is a sweetheart. The amount of times I heard “babe”, “love”, or “girl” was very endearing.

The highlight of my entire study abroad experience was going to the ball. I’ve never felt so alive and had so much fun in my life!! It was beautiful to see other Black people and people of color just being themselves on that runway stage and compete. Even if the competition is fierce, having the courage to go on that stage is powerful alone — showing off your body, skin, looks, and voguing displays their confidence in not only themselves, but their houses.

Cinemagic

Immediately after the dance showcase had ended, I heard about this musical theatre restaurant from one of my flatmates. She told me that we should audition together for the show, and I thought that it would be a great thing to do for my last hurrah. The audition went very smoothly, but I still felt very iffy about it as I had not worked on my voice too much in the semester. A few days later, though, I received an email stating that I was in the cast! The show consisted of 3 acts, each with 3 different musicals and several selected pieces from them. My big moment was in Act 2 for the Cabaret bracket where I got to play the role of the Emcee.

The first rehearsal was learning the Emcee’s songs “Wilkommen” and “If You Could See Her.” Both very challenging for their own reasons, but after some time I got it down. At the first group rehearsal, I was very nervous as this was an entirely new scene where I knew no one. Again, I also noted that I was the only Black person in the cast; alas, this only pushed me to work harder and show 110%. After getting to know more of the castmates, I learned that I was the only American in the cast — this led to many conversations about life in the U.S. and ways that I could stay in NZ. I also learned that I was not the only queer person in the cast! There was a trans man, a nonbinary person, and 2 other queer individuals who were all very lovely to talk to and create bonds with. With time, all of the talented cast became friends with each other and created such a special bond.

At the closing of the show, there was an awards ceremony in which several people earned awards for their dedication to the theatre and the show. What I was not expecting was to receive (in my opinion) the best ‘award’ of all: a pounamu. The cast had all gifted me a toki as a way of saying thank you for having me in their cast. They also serenaded me with a waiata as I ugly cried on that stage. I was so overwhelmed with emotions. At this moment, I knew that I was so loved and I could not have asked for a better parting gift.

Two days later, I had to leave New Zealand, and it was not the easiest to say goodbye. I had left my new hoa (friends), whānau (family), and so many amazing memories behind. I knew that this would not be the last time I travel abroad or to New Zealand. I plan to come back to visit these same hoa and whānau as well as try to teach voguing classes at the university or even just on the side. Either way, I can definitely say that I’ve found a new wā kāinga (home) that loves and accepts me for me, truly.