Arcadia Ireland

The last couple of blogs I’ve written have let you know what we are up to and how things are going here in Ireland. If you’re reading the blogs though and whether Ireland is somewhere you’ve been to a hundred times, somewhere you’re studying in for a while or a place that’s on your bucketlist- there are some things that all people visiting should know.

Ireland’s culture is built on tradition; language, stories, music and food to name a few. It’s a slightly less formal tradition I’m going to talk about today. I have outlined below some ‘traditions’ and Irish-isms that are worth a look through. Some of them are seen as stereotypes, but I can promise you they are true. You can believe everything you read. I actually sent a Snapchat out to my friends for inspiration and ‘research’ and these are some of the hilarious ones they came up with- one thing is for sure, Irish people are definitely original.

Here it goes;

1. The Weather.

It’s an obsession. Come hail, rain or snow, Irish people ALWAYS talk about the weather. It’s the first thing we say. It’s almost a default, like an extension of how are you- it’s insane. We are always complaining how cold it is, but if it ever (which is very rarely), reaches over 20 degrees Celsius, all we do is complain about how hot it is. We all also will wear shorts and t-shirts in anything over about 15 degrees and once it reaches about 20 the whole male population think it’s appropriate to go around topless! Expect the beaches to be PACKED and every Irish person to be discussing how good the weather is for drying clothes; “great drying out” will be the exact terminology if we’re going to get technical. Give us an autumn day with a bit of sun and not too much warmth and you’ll hear everyone talking about how glorious it is, ‘’and sure aren’t we lucky to see the sun at all.’’ It’s all you need to know if you want to start a conversation with an Irish person, just say ‘’it’s fierce (very!) cold out’’ and you’ll have a friend for life

2. Daylight Hours.

Similar to the weather, we Irish love discussing how many hours of the day are bright. That may sound bizarre but ‘’there’s a grand stretch in the evenings’’ (translated as- it’s staying brighter for longer), is something that every Irish person will utter from February on. Wait until it’s still bright at 10pm in May- you’ll be loving the stretch too.

3. Potatoes

It may seem cliché, but Irish people really do love potatoes. Whether it’s having two- or sometimes three- different types on the plate with a roast dinner (it’s always mash and roasted in my house) or talking about how much we miss Tayto (an Irish brand of crisps) when we are away we are constantly talking about spuds. They are probably still to this day the best thing that have ever happened to Ireland.

4. Fashion

We aren’t London, Paris or New York, but Ireland has its own ideas when it comes to fashion. For one- how incredibly weather inappropriate our clothing is. Before people from the U.S come to Ireland they do something quite simple- they look at the weather forecast. When they see it they think ‘ah, it’s going to be wet and cold, I should bring a good waterproof jacket and some rubber boots (galoshes I think?!.. we call them wellys!).’ This is a logical thought process and means that people stay warm and dry. For some reason, even though we live here and we know that it’s going to be wet and cold, we still wear coats and shoes that seem to soak up the rain rather than repel it. The other ‘trend’ is the competition to see who can have the nicest outfit while spending the least. Some people boast about having an expensive new shirt or shoes, oh no, we Irish have a common answer to a compliment- ‘thanks, Penneys.’ Penney’s is a low cost fashion outlet in Ireland that everybody loves. Its affordable fashion at its finest and it needs to be all over the world. If you’ve managed to grab a bargain worth complimenting from Penney’s then you’ve really had a good day. The only issue with Penney’s s is that you may find 10 other people wearing the same thing as you at any given time.

5. Tea (and other- less important- hot beverages.)

For some reason, people think that tea is a primarily English thing. Although our neighbours across the pond are big fans of tea, Irish people really do take the biscuit (yes that was intentional) when it comes to tea consumption. The funny thing is though, we don’t only like drinking it- we love forcing other people to drink it. If somebody goes to an Irish house the VERY first thing that is offered is tea. The host heads up to the kitchen and throws the kettle on WITHOUT FAIL. A neighbour may be just popping in to tell someone that they got a bit of their mail- but alas, they will have to stay for a cup of tea. My advice for anyone in Ireland or who plans on traveling to Ireland is to start liking tea. Not only is tea our number one form of socialising, but tea in Ireland is magic- it cures everything. If you’re feeling a bit sick: mug of tea. Feeling sad: mug of tea. Broke up with your other half: tea. Got a promotion: a big cup of tea. Honestly, tea is the answer to all life’s questions. Another note, if you say no to tea the first time, you will get asked at least three more times- Irish people are very forceful when it comes to hot beverages.

6. Dating

Coming to Ireland to look for love? You’ve seen Gerard Butler and his terrible Irish accent in ‘P.S, I Love You’ and think to yourself, ‘yup, that’s for me’… I’m sorry ladies and gents, but think again. There are set rules in Ireland when it comes to dating. Long gone are the days of meeting someone nice in the library and going for a coffee with them. These days it’s all about getting the shift (kiss) in a nightclub and POSSIBLY swapping snapchat names. Repeat the process with the same person three or four times and you might meet up for a drink without your friends. Of course we also have dating sites like Tinder and Bumble, pop on your best pictures and get swiping. When you eventually start up a conversation, it may take weeks before you actually meet face to face. This aside, the MOST important thing in Irish dating is road frontage. If he/she doesn’t have a bit of land somewhere that has a good stretch of road in front of it- don’t even bother.*

*Most people don’t actually have road frontage, but if you don’t ask you won’t be getting anywhere- it’s another ridiculous tradition- sure we think we’re only gas (funny.)

7. Directions

In most places people say that men don’t like asking for directions. If you decide to change tactics and ask over here then you’re in for a treat. For some unknown reason, Irish people use landmarks instead of actual directions. For example; you want to get to your friend’s house. She lives in the countryside. You’ve pulled over to ask for directions. In most places; “Yeah I can help, do you have the exact address? Ok, go down the road for 1 kilometre, take the second right and then the first left. The house will be somewhere along that road. Maybe call your friend when you’re there.” In Ireland; “Ah sure of course, that’s Bridie Riley’s son’s brother –in-law’s house. I’d be great friends with Bridie. Is it his daughter you’d be friends with now? Hannah isn’t it? Ah she’s a great girl, her mother’s a lovely woman. Anyway, sure stay on this road for a bit, you’ll see a yellow house with a red door, head on past that for a while more. You’ll get to a bad bend then, careful at that but you’ll turn right just after that. Bill Murphy’s house is just on the turn there, a massive white one. If you go past that house then you know you’ve gone too far. Anyway, after that right turn follow the road ‘til the gap in the hedge. Keep an eye out now, it can be a divil to see. Anyway, take the left after the gap and Bridie’s house is the red brick one on the corner there. Head in the back door- sure nobody has used the front door in years. Tell her I was asking for her now, and have a good time won’t you? Yeah, grand ok, bye bye by-bye bye bye.’’ I can assure you, the Irish directions will get you there easily, and the whole town will know that Bridie’s daughter has a friend that’s a ‘Yank’ over to visit.   

8. Mammy

Mother’s exist all over the world and are heroes wherever they hail from. There is something about the population of Irish mothers however that have made them earn a certain name for themselves. Irish Mammies are known to fuss over people, and fuss a LOT. If anything is happening in the world you’ll be sure to get a message from mammy to be careful, even if you’re nowhere near the trouble. The tea forcing is always initiated by Mammy. They are even doctors in their own right. If you’re feeling sick you will be minded like you have a terminal illness but flat 7up and tea and toast will be the only remedies given. If you’re really poorly, a hot water bottle will be added into the mix, and we all know that a hot whiskey is the only cure for the common cold. Mammies will also know ALL of the gossip from the neighbours. Even if they’re not friends with people, they’ll almost always know what’s going on in their lives. The most exciting thing for a Mammy is budding romance, and if she knows the pair involved (or anyone even slightly related to them), you can be sure you’ll get a blow by blow account of dates, presents and any shenanigans. If you manage to catch sight of an Irish Mammy, stay with her for a while- it’ll be worth every minute.

9. Having the Craic

If you’ve ever been to Ireland you’ll know that having the craic is a term we use for having fun (craic is the word for fun in Gaelic). The craic is Ireland’s best excuse for any mischief. Similar to tea healing all, craic is an excuse for everything. Offend your best friend? Sure you were only having the craic. Upset a neighbour? All in the name of craic. Casual prejudice? No worries- craic. Craic is probably the one thing that Irish people are most famous for and rightly so.

 10. Saying Goodbye.

Irish people are renowned for saying goodbye. The ordeal can take hours. In most places people end a conversation, say goodbye and hang up or leave. Oh, it’s not so straightforward over here. There’s phone etiquette for one. If you’re on the call, or are just a bystander you’ll always hear the same thing- “bye, bye, bu-bye, bye, bye.” This can go on for several more ‘bye’ and ‘bu-byes’ and an odd ‘yeah, yeah- bye’ can be thrown into the mix too. Surprisingly, that’s the shorter of the goodbye rituals. There’s a joke among the younger generations in Ireland that once your parents say their first goodbye, you have about an hour left before you actually leave. It may be a joke, but it’s quite accurate. There’s always the first goodbye, then a new tit-bit of information or gossip will be shared, you have to make sure to ask for EVERYBODY in the extended family, and eventually, someone will stand with their hand on the door knob for about 20 minutes before they actually turn it and walk out. As the younger generation, when visiting with our families, we’ve perfected it and only get up at the very last minute.

In the name of craic, please, watch the videos from ‘Foil, Arm and Hogs.’ I’ve linked one here. It’s named ‘Never Take an Irish Person Literally,’ and it couldn’t be more accurate. If you get nothing from all my ramblings, I can assure you that you will understand more when you watch these guys. Irish humor at its finest- enjoy.