Last week, I had a show at the Raise and Give Ball.
This is the first time in a long time that I can genuinely say I am really proud of myself, and without feeling like I sound arrogant or egotistical.
Music is something that is very close to my heart and that has helped me grow into the lady I am today. When I was little I used to make up really atrocious songs about random things like the Taco Bell Chihuahua and my stuffed animal collection, and I would record it on my computer so I could make CDs. I never really let anyone listen to them because I was embarrassed, but I showed my parents and they, of course, thought I was a lyrical genius. Years later, I showed my best friend who laughed uncontrollably at my nonsensical word choices. Nonetheless, I discovered why I loved to write music: I want to make people feel things. Whether that is humour, love, hope, or the like, I don't mind, I just want people to feel something when they hear it.
A girl came up to me after the show to thank me and say she really enjoyed listening to me sing. She enjoyed it. She felt something. THAT is the reason I make music. I have honestly never felt so happy.
Though I have had IMMENSE amounts of support from people in my life regarding music, I, like everyone, have also encountered some negative people. Being the sensitive Piscean that I am, some of the doubt has gotten to me over the years to a point where I really thought my dream of being a proper musician was really out of reach.
After this show, I have proved to myself that I am capable of accomplishing whatever I well feel like. I worked really hard and all of the doubtful remarks that once clouded my mind were proven wrong. More importantly, I believe in myself a bit more now. And you know, I am proud of that.
I can honestly say that the person I was before studying abroad would have been far too self-conscious to do this show on as short of notice as it was. Studying abroad has really helped me grow into a secure and confident young lady.
England, from the bottom of my heart, thanks for shaping me into a braver person with the ability to conquer my fears and achieve my dreams.
Here’s to whatever is next!